No but seriously, tonight’s blog will begin with the ‘issue’ of men being ‘whipped’ for their girlfriend/fiancé/wife. For those of you who happen to not know what ‘whipped’ means – don’t laugh at them, I just recently discovered what DTF means – it’s when a guy basically will rip out his heart because the girl he’s with asked him to.
Fatal but so very sweet.
And NO, I’m not going to tell you what DTF means because it is DISTURBING! People are sick nowadays. I mean, I’ve seen blue waffles, I’ve read about the human centipede, but DTF is just UNREASONABLE (the other two things are also pretty gross but one is a medical condition and the other is a horror film so that’s understandable, there is NO EXCUSE for DTF)!
Anyways, personally I believe there’s no better feeling in the world for a girl than having their own personal male/female human slave (not in an S&M way or anything) – or any slave for that matter (I’ve been watching too much Invader Zim! Have you watched it? It’s awesome, you should totally watch it. I’m in love with Zim!).
And you know what’s the best thing about having a boyfriend who is COMPLETELY whipped over you?
It’s like a legal form of slavery. :)
Tragic?
Yes. But still legal nonetheless.
There’s something truly horrifying about seeing a grown man crawling on his knees and grovelling over a girl. Emotions are nothing more than chemicals in your body after all and you’d think they’d manage to maintain some form of self-control. Girls are capable of being ‘whipped’ over their partners as well.
But our emotions control us don’t they?
Talking about horrifying things, I know a group of bad-ass looking guys. These men look like they’re easily capable of murder and other horrible and unmentionable but still questionable things.
However, despite their terrifying exteriors, they are the BIGGEST GIRLS you’ll ever meet! I love them all dearly. People see me hanging around their group and they want to ‘rescue’ me or something. Which is ironic, because most of the time I AM the one who keeps them in line. Oh yes, you read that right. I’m tougher than I look. :) No seriously.
I’m kidding about the whipping thing by the way. I think it’s cute when a guy waits out in the rain for a girl to finish work with a bunch of flowers and a teddy bear or if he does the whole romantic home-cooked (partially-unintentionally-burnt) dinner thing with rose petals, or he actually remembers to celebrate your anniversary. Things which a guy still has yet to do for me but meh, I’m not complaining (actually I am but shhh!). *warning glare*
It’s sweet, but there are times when it’s... overpowering. To say the least.
For example:
- Sweet: A guy buying a girl a teddy bear
- Over-doing it: Hunting real bear, trapping it, and giving it to her as a pet
- What Leanne would do/like: Sticky-taping about ten thousand of those furry monster soft toys onto your partners' car
OR
- Sweet: A treasure hunt with you at the end asking her to date you
- Over-doing it: Kidnap her, put her through a series of tests and puzzles and the reward for passing them would be her life (e.g. Saw).
- What Leanne would do/like: Giving them a find-a-word with the leftover letters spelling out “Will you go out with me?” Oh and to really drive them insane, make it so that one of the words aren’t actually in the find-a-word, so they think the message will actually be something else.
I talk big and tough but if you people have ever seen me in a relationship (yes, it’s rare but it does happen once every blue moon), I’m SO sweet. Seriously, people get toothaches from being around me for extended periods of time when I’m infatuated. *The cliché is terrible D:*
ANYWAYS, onto another topic.
Tonight, one of my girlfriends and I went to Dan Murphy’s to buy some alcohol for a friends upcoming 21st (I actually got invited to this party – how cool am I?). For those of you that don’t know me amazingly well (because I’m oh-so-mysterious), I don’t drink a lot. It’s very rare that I do.
Why? No reason, I just don’t particularly like the taste. Oh wait! That IS a reason! Opps.
Anyways, because of my aversion to the drink of Satan (I joke, I joke, I love orange juice), you can imagine my surprise when for a few bottles of alcohol; the price came up to around $250! FRRREEEAAAKK! Woah.
I mean woah. I had no idea alcohol costs that much! I mean, what’s in it? Liquid gold? The elixir for eternal youth? The reason we went to Dan Murphy’s was to SAVE money (and apparently we did) on the drinks!
Stuff that shit, we’re having juice poppers for my 19th. You have two choices: orange or pineapple juice. Choose wisely because I’m rationing them, one popper per person per 2 hours!
HAHAHAHA! Oh it’s funny because I can imagine that happening. :D
Oh God, I miss my Thursday university crew! I’m beginning to forget their faces! *oh crap* Sorry guys, no hard feelings if I don’t recognise you when I see you after e-learning week yeah?
You know what I find “typically-Leanne”? I can write over 700 words EASILY for my blog, but when it comes to a 1500 word essay, it’ll take me weeks. The irony kills me.
Not literally though, I’ll blog again tomorrow! *collective audience sigh* I like directing my readers :)
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